Call me a cynic

but I'd be more impressed if he held the chopsticks himself.
PK

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3OGgUnNoS0&feature=player_embedded

PS I think the cat's mustache makes him look like Wilford Brimley.

Stephen Colbert, Olympian?

Stephen Colbert is on the most recent cover of Sports Illustrated wearing a speed skater’s spandex uniform. This is all a result of Colbert and his show announcing in Nov that they would be the primary sponsor of the US speed skating team. Colbert later got into a good humored spat with the City of Richmond (site of the 2010 Olympic Speed Skating Oval) when he called them “syrup-sucking Canadian iceholes" and urged his viewers to send in letters demanding Canada cease its “icehole-ish behaviour”.

City of Richmond spokesperson Ted Townsend responded by saying “As a proud syrup sucker, I am saddened that you would cast aspersions on Canadians as part of your otherwise laudable quest to assist the cash-strapped American speed skating team.
We have always welcomed our friends from south of the border with open arms (well, except in 1812). In fact, we've always fondly considered you as our American 'cousins' and politely tolerated you, even when you were in an imperialistic mood."
Townsend wrote in the letter that international skaters have never been barred from the Olympic oval, though they have been asked to follow rules to get on the ice.
"You might have noticed that us syrup-suckers are big on rules and regulating things; that's how we got universal public Medicare.”
To show there are no hard feelings, Townsend, offered Colbert a position as ombudsman of treatment for U.S. speed skaters during the 2010 Games.
Colbert has now accepted this job and as a result is now on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

I hope he can bring me some fancy Colbert Nation Fancy Feast when he comes to visit.
PK

PS If he needs a place to stay, I'm sure my sometimes-guest-feeder Karen can find him a room at Chateau Fisher-Hagel.

My big-cats are home!!!

I woke up this morning at 6am to the sound of the big-cats coming home from their vacation in Maui. I had to tell them all of the things that went on while they were away.

They didn't bring me back anything from Maui but I'm still glad they're home.
PK

I'm bored

Well it seems like it's been about two months since I've seen my big-cats (think cat months) and I've run out of things to do.

I've chased all of the balls of fluff under the bed, I've watched the birdies in the backyard for days, I've sniffed at all of the things I usually sniff at, and I've even cleaned up the area around my cat-box.

My only excitement has been when I have had one of the Hagels come visit me every couple days. Usually I can convince one of them that I'm starving and haven't eaten for days and so they will give me a FF (suckers!).

I can't wait to see my big-cats and to tell them all the things that I've done while they were in Maui.

Bored, bored, bored.
PK

PS If you want to see the big-cats photos of Maui, click on this
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=33496&id=1667472608&l=36ef3c2f0a

Sometimes you have to suffer to get what you want

A couple weeks ago, the Middle-Cat bought me a costume that she wanted me to wear on Halloween. She wanted me to dress up like a chicken. We fought about it and I refused to even try the chicken-hat on.

Luckily, the Middle-Cat was away for Halloween so the matter was forgotten for a while.

Last night the Big-Cat told me that I would get a special treat this morning if I wore the chicken-hat for the Middle-Cat....so I did.


Well this morning I got my special treat; a little bit of Boost before the big-cats went for a run. I have to drink out of the bottle cap so I ended up spilling some of the Boost on the table; but I lapped up those drops a little later.

I only got a small amount of Boost so I'm not sure it was worth wearing the chicken-hat. The Boost was so good, I wonder what I'd have to do to get a whole bottle.
PK

There was a sale on kibble last week.

and there was some cat craziness. I'm glad my big-cats buy food for me so I was able to stay home. I could have gotten hurt in the cat-mosh.
PK

I was going to do a story on Vampires....but

I wanted to do a story about the Big-Cats's job. He works for a charity called St Paul's Hospital Foundation and they raise money for St Paul's Hospital.

Two weeks ago, the Big-Cat got up at 6am to drive downtown and spent 6 hours in the pouring rain to set up a bunch of light-stars on the outside of the Hospital.

Tonight was the big unveiling and the lights were turned on for the first time; accompanied by some fireworks.

A good time was had by all and CTV broadcast the lighting ceremony live.

I think the lights look pretty; but I'm glad I didn't have to wait in the rain to see the lighting.
PK

Happy 20-somethingth birthday, cousin Hilary

Wednesday is the birthday of my Big-Cat's cousin Hilary. She's pretty cool. She came to visit me a couple years ago (when the big-cats were getting married) and she was an excellent guest. She laughed a lot, didn't eat my food, and she didn't try to pick me up.

I hope that she comes out and visits me again...perhaps during the 2010 Olympics. I'm sure I could convince her to give me a Fancy Feast.

Happy birthday cuz!
PK

I'm about to build an ark.

I've lived all my life in the Vancouver area and thought I had grown accustomed to the rain; but the amount of rain that we’ve experienced in the last couple days has made me think it might be time to go on a trip.

I’m hoping that my big-cats will take me to Hawaii when they go later this month. Warm and sunny (with big sandy beaches to do my “business”) seems like a great idea to me; especially now that I’m in my late-middle-years. Sometimes I dream of getting up and not having to stretch out my creaky-joints.

And being warm; remember what that was like? I miss curling up on my catio, caught in a sunbeam, and dreaming of little birdies.

Who’s with me?
PK

Yummy, freak of nature.

Is this not the fattest squirrel you have ever seen? If I could catch him, I'd eat well all winter.

Here squirrelly, I have some peanuts. Come closer to me...
PK

My nephew-cat

My nice nephew-cat (Jacob) is currently hitch-hiking across Canada to Quebec with his girlfriend Juliette (she's from France). And while I wonder about his hair style (it would be hard to keep dreadlocks clean as a cat). I admire his moxie for walking his own road.

He isn't the first, or second, or even third person the Big-Cat knows that followed a nice French girl to a new locale (Vancouver, France, and France respectively). I hope Jacob's journey works out as well as the other three.

Keep warm Jacob...the townships can be very cold in the winter.
PK

My Charter rights were violated last week

I just wanted my loyal readers to know that I blogged last week but many of you were unable to see it because my rights under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms (section 2(b)) were violated and the man (err, woman) censored my views.

Next time, I will post from off-shore, and the true story of ENL will be heard.

Peace, out.
PK

Olympic Flame

My new wish for who gets to light the Olympic Flame in 2010...the parents of one of the soldiers who died in Afghanistan. I wish there were fewer of them.

And as someone once said to me, "those down-range and their families deserve our support."

Even the US media recognizes how Canada honours its war dead. I hope VANOC does so very soon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1R8qLAmkLU

Very sad. Lest we forget.
PK

Olympic Torch Relay, day 1

Check it out...45,000 kilometres to come.

I feel sad there were some young kids who were supposed to run with the torch but were not able to because of the protesters. Very sad that they couldn't share in the celebration. Imagine if you had to explain to your eight year old child they couldn't run with the torch because someone else wanted to protest something.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzP6gnm5AoI

Or check out the Middle Cat's twitter account (whatever that is) http://twitter.com/josieinbc
PK

The Olympic Flame

I was watching coverage of the arrival of the Olympic Flame in Victoria today.

I thought it was great that local resident and two-time Olympic medallist Simon Whitfield was selected to be one of the first two people to carry the flame on the torch relay.

It got me thinking, who should be the person who gets to light the big Olympic cauldron on February 12, 2010 (speaking of that, where will that be??? inside BC Place???)

I'm hoping that since her son can't be there, Terry Fox's mother Betty will be chosen. I think that would be the perfect way to honour Terry's memory and Betty's tireless work since her son's death in 1981.

Who would you like to see light the Olympic cauldron?
PK

PS If you want to see a great video about the torch relay, check this out.
http://www.vancouver2010.com/olympic-videos/lights-will-guide-you-home_116232g110288-JA.html

The Media

I'm tired of the way the media reacts to minor events like the way they did yesterday with "Balloon Boy". Live TV news programs were following the story for hours and afterwards, there has been countless hours spent talking about the incident and its causes.

The media have now been focusing on whether or not this was all just a publicity stunt and opinions have been sought as to whether or not the media were used by the family to promote the father’s “storm chasing” (whatever that is).

But in my opinion, since the media helped create the frenzy over this incident, they deserve what they got.

I hope that next time the media won’t be so quick to devote all that live coverage to a minor incident and spend more time doing what they should be doing…telling us what is happening with Jon and Kate.
PK

Marge Simpson to be on the cover of Playboy

Marge and her pile of bright blue hair are set to grace the cover of the November issue of Playboy. It will hit the newsstands October 16.

New CEO Scott Flanders says the idea is to attract readers in their 20s to a magazine where the average reader's age is 35.

Isn't it ironic that at the same time Marge Simpson is in Playboy, the magazine has a CEO named "Flanders"?

And if he thinks that Marge on the cover is going to get more men in their 20s to buy the magazine, then he really is (as Homer has often said) stupid Flanders.
PK

President Obama wins the Nobel Prize for Peace??

You know, I like President Obama and would have voted for him if I lived in the USA and if I was a couple years older (I'm only 15) but I'm not sure why he won the Nobel Prize for Peace. While I think his approach to international relations is much better than President W's was, President Obama has not yet achieved anything worthy of this award. In fact, I think winning the award will hurt President Obama's ability to make change happen. It makes him look like the guy that some people like so much, they glorify achievements that aren't really there...which I guess makes him the Democrat's version of President Bush.

My hope is that President Obama is one day deserving of this award.

Oh wait, this just in, in a surprise move, the NHL has just awarded President Obama the Lady Bing Trophy.

As first reported by Con Champman of Salon.com:
The National Hockey League today awarded the Lady Byng Memorial Trophy to Barack Obama, saying that while the President had never actually played hockey, the first nine months of his administration had changed the tone and tenor of the game for the better, and that so far this season he doesn’t have any penalty minutes.

"President Obama has brought hope to scrawny forwards who face punishment each night from brawny defensemen and bruising enforcers," said NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman. "While it is unusual to name the winner less than a month into the season, Mr. Obama's influence on 'the coolest game on earth' has been immeasurable."

The Lady Byng Trophy is awarded annually to the hockey player adjudged to have exhibited the best sportsmanship and most gentlemanly conduct in the league. It is considered the hockey equivalent of the Nobel Peace Prize.

PK

Imperial Stormtroopers

Oddly, there was an Imperial Stormtrooper (from Star Wars) at the downtown library yesterday.

I'm not sure if he found the 'droids he was looking for.

PK

The Incident

Last night seemed like an ordinary night until "The Incident".

The Big-Cat was getting ready to have a bath and I followed him into the bathroom to sit on the bathmat while he was in the tub. I started playing with the shower curtain (in truth, I was chewing on it) so the Big-Cat pulled it away from me and dragged it into the tub. That's when IT happened.

The Big-Cat knocked a bottle of shampoo off the edge of the tub. The shampoo bottle landed upside down on its pump and a jet of shampoo launched forth out of the bottle and landed on my fur.

I immediately ran out of the bathroom and started to try to get the shampoo off of my fur the only way I could…by licking it. It tasted terrible and now I couldn’t get the taste out of my mouth. The Big-Cat ran after me with a towel and tried to wipe the shampoo off but I thought he had more of the evil stuff so I ran away. Soon both big-cats were chasing me around the bedroom. I kept running from them and stopped when I could to try to lick the shampoo off….but the shampoo tasted so bad and I started to make evil hissing noises (I thought I could scare the shampoo away).

The big-cats finally cornered me and I had shampoo foam all over my mouth and snout. The Big-Cat wiped that off and I wiggled free and ran under the bed, where I tried to clean my fur again. This produced more foam and bad taste, so I ran into my tent to hide.

My Big-Cat dragged me out of the tent and, and, and (I still shudder to think about it) he gave one side of my fur coat a bath. He said it was for my own good and that it would get rid of the evil taste but I think he was punishing me for making those noises.

Once the bath finished, I looked like, well, a wet cat…which is not pretty (see picture).

The big-cats then dried me with a towel and then brushed me and gave me a couple treats to get the taste out of my mouth…so I eventually forgave them.

It’s never dull around our house.
PK

I'm sad that I wasn't invited to this wedding

because they probably served wild birdies.

Or maybe I got sent an invitation but it was camouflaged and I never saw it.
CF

A clean bill of health!!

I went to the vet yesterday for a check up on my recent surgery.

To get me there, my Big-Cat had to stuff me into my cat-carrier (see picture) and then I had to go on a car ride. I hate car rides, so I meowed all the way there.

When I got to the vet, I met a nice bird and a little kitten. I felt good that the bird was also in a prison but was disappointed that the little kitten was let out of his box a couple times. How come the little fur-bag got let out and I had to stay in my cage? Life is not fair.

So, to make a point, when I was taken into the clinic room, I refused to get out of my cage. The vet tried to coax me out (yeah, right), then tried to pull me out (not a good idea), and then tried to turn the cage upside down and pour me out; but I wasn't having any of that (think Heinz ketchup). The vet finally pulled my towel out of the cage while shaking the cage upside down and so I lost my footing and fell onto the exam table. Let me just say, that's when the hissing started.

But before I could figure out where the vet's hand was (to bite), the exam was over and the vet was cooing that everything looked great in my mouth....so I slinked back into my cage and told the Big-Cat we were leaving.

Another short car ride later, I was back home, safe and sound; where I intend to stay.
PK

Air Simpson

I’m a big fan of the TV show “The Simpsons”. It’s smart, funny, and satirical; and it’s one of the few shows on TV that has a cat in it.

I have a theory that everything in life can be related back to “The Simpsons” or “Seinfeld”.

I was surprised the other day when I was asking the Internet some questions about home delivery of Fancy Feast (the big-cats were not home) and I found out that the Simpsons had their own plane. It’s a real plane…not a cartoon one (see picture).

I bet those slackers in South Park don’t have their own plane.

But I wonder, who on the Simpsons would fly the plane? I can’t think of a single character that I would trust in the cockpit. Maybe they have Quagmire from Family Guy moonlighting as their pilot.
PK

The next day

Well, I've made it to the day after my surgery now and I'm starting to feel better. My jaw is less sore and I got to eat some solid food (some last Fancy Feasts before embarking on my new diet).

I'd like to give meow-outs to my cousin-cat Hamish (he's a nice grey cat who lives with Eoghan, and Aislin) for sending me a get well card and a couple last Fancy Feasts. I appreciate the cat-solidarity.

Here is a photo of me with my arms shaved. Not something I would have chosen for myself but I think it makes me look skinny.

Even though my surgery is over, my Big-Cat insists on giving me some antibiotics; which I hate. Not only does my Big-Cat have to force an eye dropper into my mouth and then squirt the medicine down my throat; the antibiotics taste terrible (I'd rather be taking Buckley's cough syrup).

Here is a photo of me hiding in my tent after getting my medicine. If the Big-Cat comes for me again tonight, I'm going to close the front panel and wait until he goes away.
PK

Ouch!!

Well, I'm home after a day spent at the vet.

I'm still a little woozy from the knock-out-drugs (perhaps I shouldn't do drugs and blog) and I'm more than a little pissed off.

Not only did I get stuffed into a little box and taken for a car-ride; but I got knocked out, three of my teeth were pulled out of my head, and parts of my front two paws were shaved...I feel like a frat boy on his stag!!!

But perhaps the worst thing of all; the vet told my Big-Cat that I will need to on a special diet (for my kidneys) and I will have to give up Fancy Feasts.

I wish my friend Vet-Stacy was here to give me a second opinion.
PK

I'm a brave, brave cat

It's been a rough day. I knew something was up when I saw my Middle-Cat wearing three thick jackets and heavy duty work gloves. Then she swooped me up and tried to stick me in a cage, but I wasn't making it easy for her. I gave her my best four paw push but after many attempts, Middle-Cat got me in and locked the door. She can be so mean sometimes.

As if that wasn't bad enough, we then went on a car ride. I hate car rides. I'm a little embarrassed to share this video with you, but I think it pretty much sums up my day. Middle-Cat filmed this when we were at a stop light.

Then I went to the vet's office where I got poked and prodded by a nice man. I was a bit rude to him. I'm feeling a little bad about that now.

When we finally got home, Middle-Cat was all nice again for about five minutes. Then, after I let my guard down, she tackled me and tried to shove drugs down my throat. I didn't like that so much. She says I better get used to it.

Just wanted to let my readers know that I'm very tired, but I'm feeling a little better. I'm going back to visit the nice vet on Monday. Wish me luck.

PK

Rain, rain, go away!

I'm thinking of building an ark. Who's with me?
PK

The Art of Racing in the Rain

My Middle-Cat just finished reading The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. She said she really, really loved it, but I caught her crying while she was reading it. Humans are weird sometimes.

The book is about a very nice dog named Enzo. He's a smart dog and knows so much about race car driving. He's even named after Enzo Ferrari - yes, THAT Ferrari. Enzo wishes he had opposable thumbs (like me!), enjoys watching tv (like me!) and loves his family (like me!).

Maybe I should write a book about a cat named Pheobe. Oh, how I wish I had thumbs!

PK

Happy birthday Rae

I wanted to wish my long-time reader Rae a very happy something-th birthday (attached is a somewhat? recent picture of her). The big-cat misses working with you.

I hope that Stan treats you extra special today and that your air quality improves.

For her birthday, I will award her the title, Lady of Pheobe.

Stay safe and away from the fires.
PK

Middle-Cat knows how to bring it!

I've always thought that the Middle-Cat was the kindler, gentler kind of cat who I could always convince to give me a treat or a Fancy Feast. But last week, when the big-cats were up in Whistler, the Middle-Cat showed another side.

Here is a photo of her in action; showing a small defenceless tree who was the boss (notice parts of the tree flying toward the left side of the photo). I'm not sure what the tree did to make the Middle-Cat angry; but it did so to its detriment.

I'll have to keep this in mind and not push the Middle-Cat too far in my quest to get my dinner.
PK

The perfect place for when winter comes

A giant, enclosed catio with lots of natural light.

I think I just found my new winter home.

PK

I tried so hard Mr Policeman

A sad story from Oakville, Ontario today.

A 66-year-old lady was out walking her dog along the shore of Lake Ontario when she slipped on some rocks and fell in. The dog leaped into the Lake and tried to pull her out but was unsuccessful.

Later that afternoon, two canoeists found the lady's body. The dog was gripping her clothing in its teeth and trying to pull her ashore.

The dog wasn't hurt and will be returned to the lady's family when they are located.
PK

Usain Bolt does it again

He just set a new World record in the 200m race with a time of 19.19 seconds (which is almost exactly double his 9.59 second World record for the 100m)

He finished the 200m a little over 3/5 of a second ahead of the nearest compeitor; which is unheard of in a race that is usually decided by a few hundredths of a second.

I'm so excited by this achievement, I am going to create a new award to honour excellence.

I am going bestow it for the first time on the lightning Bolt.

He will from henceforth be known as Usain Bolt, KP (Knight of Pheobe).

Keep reading this blog for possible future awardings of KP (or LP for you Ladies).

PK

Going for a run

The big-cats were getting ready to go for a run this morning and I thought I would join them.

I got out some running shoes, a water bottle, and drank some Boost.

After all that effort to get ready, I think I need a nap.
PK

I have a moon named after me...

I found out today that the planet Saturn has a moon named Phoebe (strange spelling, eh?). It is about 220 km in diameter and a day on Phoebe (i.e. the time to rotate once on its axis) is about 10 hours; which sounds about right to me.

Like me, Phoebe is not a very hospitable place (the average surface temperature is minus 198 degrees Celsius) and (unlike me) there is likely a fair bit of ice frozen to its surface.

I’ve always thought I was heavenly, and now I have proof.
PK

To go or not to go; that is the question

My big-cats are going out to eat at the Swiss Chalet with Momma-Heisig tonight; and I’m not happy. Most of the time, the big-cats get their SC to go and eat it at home. Usually I get a small bit of chicken and/or a french-fry to eat; and after dinner I get to play with the crinkly wrappers from the chocolates.

Tonight, I won’t get anything…and my nightly Fancy Feast will be late.

I think I’ll go upstairs and knock some of the Middle-Cat’s earrings off the table and bat them under the bed.
PK

Simple rain versus lightning storms

Please don’t complain about the rain, all that negative energy might bring another lightning storm; like the one that just went through Toronto.

I don’t like lightning or thunder. Both of them scare me so badly that I have to go and hide under the bathmat for protection.

Besides, our forests are so dry, we don’t need any more lightning.
PK

Strange but true

There’s a man in Florida that has been arrested after the police found he had over 1,000 child pornographic images on his computer.

The man told the police that his cat jumped on the computer keyboard while he was downloading music. He said he had left the room and found “strange things” on his computer when he returned…aka the cat downloaded the porn.

I can guarantee that no cat would download child porn; although we might download coupons for Fancy Feast.
PK

Um, what's going on here?

Why do they have kittens in their pockets?
PK

More adventures from Whistler

One last story from the big-cats' week up at Whistler. After doing the ziplines, they did an adventure in the treetops with Wild Play Whistler (same company that did the ziplines).

The big-cats spent about 2.5 hours climbing around on various obstacles getting from tree-to-tree. Each obstacle was harder, longer, or steeper than the one before it.

The big-cats are a little stiff and whiny today; and they have sore muscles where they didn't even think they had muscles.

They both agree that when she is older, niece-Brenna would love this adventure. She might not even use the safety line. That girl has a strong core and an even stronger will.
PK

Big-cats were ziplining at Whistler today

The middle-cat was winning for about 1/2 this trip, but the big-cat's superior skill (aka weight) won the day for him.

But neither knew about the sudden stop at the end.

Special thanks to the Wild Play people for hooking the big-cats up.

PK

At least he wore his seatbelt

but next time he should use sunscreen too.
PK

Fire on Blackcomb mountain.

I just heard from the big-cats. There is a fire on Blackcomb Mountain that was caused by a lightning strike earlier today.

The big-cats are sitting on the golf course, drinking beer, watching the water bombers try to put the fire out (see attached photos and video).

Hopefully the thunderstorm will bring some rain and help reduce the fire risk in the Whistler/Pemberton area.

It would also be nice for the rain to come to Richmond...there is a little-cat, wearing a fur coat, that would like some cooler weather too.
PK

Best cat-sitter, ever

I'd like to send some meow-outs to Michelle for being the numero-uno cat-sitter, ever.

Not only did she come over and clean up the messes I left on the carpet; but every time she visited me, she stayed over for a little while and let me out on the catio so that I could cool down (concrete in the shade is a furry-cat's best friend these days).

But the best thing she did for me was that she brought me a People magazine to read. There was a great article about Jessica Simpson.

It's so sad that Jessica and Tony Romo didn't work out. They seemed like a nice couple....although maybe Tony will concentrate more on football this year.

How 'bout dem Cowboys???
PK

You think it's hot in town?

Check out this stunning photo of the space shuttle Endeavor docked with the International Space Station crossing the face of the sun.

I'm sure there is no shade up there; and they're much closer to the sun than we are.

I bet they have their blinds closed and the air conditioning on.
PK

Fans of Le Tour de France

This is El Diablo (aka 57 year old Didi Senft of Germany). He has been attending multiple stages of Le Tour de France each year since 1993.

He often travels ahead of the race in a custom-decorated camper vehicle, picking various locations for the race to pass by. While waiting for the race, he paints small white tridents on the road.

When the riders arrive, El Diablo will run beside them waving his trident to make the riders go faster (if only to get away from him).


He gets more TV time than some of the lower ranked riders in Le Tour.








And then there is this guy. Either he's a big Lance Armstrong fan, or George W Bush is drinking again.