Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Stephen Colbert, Olympian?

Stephen Colbert is on the most recent cover of Sports Illustrated wearing a speed skater’s spandex uniform. This is all a result of Colbert and his show announcing in Nov that they would be the primary sponsor of the US speed skating team. Colbert later got into a good humored spat with the City of Richmond (site of the 2010 Olympic Speed Skating Oval) when he called them “syrup-sucking Canadian iceholes" and urged his viewers to send in letters demanding Canada cease its “icehole-ish behaviour”.

City of Richmond spokesperson Ted Townsend responded by saying “As a proud syrup sucker, I am saddened that you would cast aspersions on Canadians as part of your otherwise laudable quest to assist the cash-strapped American speed skating team.
We have always welcomed our friends from south of the border with open arms (well, except in 1812). In fact, we've always fondly considered you as our American 'cousins' and politely tolerated you, even when you were in an imperialistic mood."
Townsend wrote in the letter that international skaters have never been barred from the Olympic oval, though they have been asked to follow rules to get on the ice.
"You might have noticed that us syrup-suckers are big on rules and regulating things; that's how we got universal public Medicare.”
To show there are no hard feelings, Townsend, offered Colbert a position as ombudsman of treatment for U.S. speed skaters during the 2010 Games.
Colbert has now accepted this job and as a result is now on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

I hope he can bring me some fancy Colbert Nation Fancy Feast when he comes to visit.

PS If he needs a place to stay, I'm sure my sometimes-guest-feeder Karen can find him a room at Chateau Fisher-Hagel.

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