Friday, April 24, 2009

Mother-cat in law

My Big-Cat's mother in law is moving to town. She goes by various names: Leonor, Eleanor, Butch, Mama-H, or Maria.

She's pretty cool. She's stayed with us a couple times and she is one of the best house-guests I've ever had. She likes to eat (me too), sit on the couch (me too), watch movies (me too), and the last time she was here she bought me a nice pillow to lay my head on.

I'm glad that she is moving to town; I'll get to see her more often...but the best thing, is that she has her own apartment and won't be living with us.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The one-pet policy

You know how China has a one-child policy? I wonder if they have a one-pet policy as well.

My boyfriend Gus came to visit me last weekend. I'm not used to seeing him in extreme close-up though and as you'll see in the video, I don't really like him in my personal space. I think I liked him better when we stared into each others' eyes through the glass door.

The Big-Cats keep talking about getting a dog to live with us permanently. I don't think I would like that very much. If they ever go through with it, I think I'm going to pack my bags and hitch-hike to China. I don't think there's any house in the world big enough for me and another furry creature. Even if they're as cute as Gussy.


Monday, April 13, 2009

The Price of Fancy Feast has gone up...

so my big-cats have insisted that I get a job to help pay for my upkeep.

I'm now working as a guard-cat in Steveston; the sign says it all.

Friday, April 10, 2009

My Snakie

I want you to meet my friend, Snakie. I've had him for about 10 years. He sometimes gets very dirty so I have to clean him.

He doesn't do or say much but I love him. He makes me feel good when I get to play with him because he is full of catnip.

If my big-cats forget to put Snakie away, I've been know to clean him all day. When that happens, Snakie gets covered in cat spit and no-one wants to touch him.

If you come over, remember to ask my permission to touch Snakie or I will swat you with my paws.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


For 15 years I’ve been hearing about an “Easter Bunny” that comes into my house once a year, leaves a bunch of chocolate, and then slips away leaving NOTHING FOR ME.

Think about it. First he comes into my house without my permission and then leaves a bunch of cat-poison (chocolate makes cats sick) on my floor. I think the Easter Bunny has it out for me. He’s trying to get me to eat the chocolate and when I get sick and have to go visit Dr Stacy, he’ll take my place with the big-cats (who would then have to be called big-bunnies?). I think he would then try to force me to live outside in the rain without my Fancy Feast or my snakie.

This year, I vow to get even. I am going to camouflage myself to look like a bunny (see picture) and hide out waiting for him to come into my house. And when his back is turned, I’ll give him the old left-paw, right-paw and knock him onto his little cottontail.

He should keep in mind, while cats may not eat chocolate, some of us eat bunnies!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dead to me

Lately the Big-Cat has been using the phrase “____ is dead to me” a lot. He doesn’t means the person/thing he is talking about is literally dead, just that for all intents and purposes the Big-Cat doesn’t want to have ____ in his life anymore.

Examples have included, “That former co-worker is dead to me” or “Stories about the Octuplet mom are dead to me”.

The Big-Cat has also used some qualifiers to express something on it’s last legs…. “Lost and Grey's Anatomy are both getting so boring, they are almost dead to me.”

So I’ve been thinking about things that are dead to me:
- watching my figure (heck, I’m a 15 years old)
- all dogs, except a couple pugs and my buddy Gus
- that raccoon who visited my yard a couple months ago
- people who pretend to get a Fancy Feast from the cupboard but don’t actually give me one (oh, I hate those people), and
- the vacuum cleaner.